“Deep connection is the antidote to madness”- Stefan Molyneux
When I first stepped into my personal journey of healing, it felt a lot like madness. My corporate lifestyle had left me desensitized from feeling anything deeply with a pretty skewed view of the world. I firmly believed that the people around me were toxic and would do anything to get what they want. I relied on my ego to survive this lifestyle; Anger and aggression were hi octane fuel to get through the day. But for like many people, burnout was an inevitable destination for me. Even though deep down I knew about the fate of my lifestyle, the timing of it (for lack of a better word) sucked. It was right before the first covid-19 lockdown in Colombo which led my fiancé at the time to go back to her country for safety reasons and I found myself feeling stuck in my whole being. For the first time in my life I was experiencing severe emotional trauma.
What is Trauma?
Emotional and physiological trauma is a disruption in connection. And connection is everything to our survival; both individually and collectively, connection is our sanctuary. As newborns our visceral bond to our caregiver is what fuels connection; to be safe in your caregiver’s arms and to be cared for, makes an imprint of security on our nervous system. Think of it as a solid foundation for a well-designed building.
Trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter this sense of security. Trauma leaves cracks on your nervous system, on this so called foundation and how we decide to repair these cracks or how we decide to heal is so important.
“Human connection can be hell, or it can be a great spiritual practice”
One of my favorite quotes by Zen master Eckhart Tolle sums up my healing journey perfectly because for me the antidote to trauma (to my hell), was conscious connection. I healed and continue to heal different aspects of my life solely because of connection; deep connection to myself and to people/beings I interact with.
I began to see that all of us are inherently good but all of us have struggles. All of us are traumatized but try our best to deal with it to the best of our abilities. We may not experience severe trauma on a daily basis but trauma is a part of us; from ancestral oppression through colonization to racial wars, from terrorism to natural disasters, trauma is built in to us. But we march forward in the name of resilience. While this is admirable, we are normalizing trauma-centered living.
Healing through deep connection
Our goal should be to go from trauma-centered living to trauma-informed living. I am grateful for my trauma because it is teaching me so much about the importance of meaningful connection.
When I co-founded Konectiv Wellness, it was because of meaningful chats with my dear friend (and co- founder) Sala about how to heal trauma; as individuals, as a community, as men who want to heal the toxic parts of masculinity, as parental figures and as human beings. We saw an opportunity to heal and join arms with like-minded people. From curating our first wellness experience Sacred Space unawatuna to launching this platform with the hopes of collective healing, I see connection as the driving force towards wholeness.
We come from a mountain of ancestral tools such as yoga, plant medicine and so many other cross-cultural rituals to do exactly that; connect deeply. So this is my personal invitation to you, join us; if you are a seeker of wellness as a whole concept, if you see multiculturalism in Sri Lanka as a blessing to explore meaningful connection, and if you are on a journey of healing and want to see a community who value mental health, join Konectiv Wellness and we’ll explore wonderful possibilities together.
J Malindra Herath
Co-founder, Konectiv Wellness.
Register for our upcoming wellness experience- sacred space 2!
Stillness Speaks- Eckhart Tolle- https://eckharttolle.com
Healing Collective Trauma- Thomas Huebl- https://thomashuebl.com